We get some SERIOUSLY weird mail!

Alright, folks. Add this one to the "weird mail" file! {And this time it wasn't addressed to me!}

For the record, so far our "weird mail" file includes...
* Numerous retirement brochures for me.
* Trial hearing aide offer for me.
* Letter from a dude in the slammer for me.
* Planned Parenthood flier for me.

And now this:

"Special Savings Only a Woman Would Want"

Addressed to this man:

And on the inside:

Bwah ha ha ha!!! I can't make this stuff up. I honestly have no idea how we get on these mailing lists. And, {TMI}, I don't even use that brand. Bummer.

Planned Parenthood

Seriously? Why do I seem to attract weird and totally inappropriate junk mail? Is there something about my name that just screams "let's send her a flier!"?! At our old house I received numerous [as in way more than one or two] fliers for retirement homes... what the? And then who can forget this - my sample hearing aide. And we all know the icing on the cake was from my favorite inmate. [Did you miss that one? Yeah, totally got a letter from some random guy in prison. Short version: Wrong person, wrong address and don't worry, the letter had been forwarded and he doesn't have our new address.]

Well, here's the latest. Apparently I am somehow on the Eugene/Springfield Planned Parenthood mailing list - and yet, they have our Washington address. Someone want to explain how that one happened?! But.... "When you come in for your appointment bring this card with you and we'll give you a $5 gift voucher good at Bagel Sphere, located at 810 Willamette Street in Eugene and 5768 Main Street in Springfield."

This was the front.

And this was how I filled in the blank. Well, one out of two ain't bad!! ;)

Anyway. Whatever. If they absolutely must, I guess just keep 'em coming. They're good for a laugh and then go straight into the recycling bin.

[Dang! I missed out on a free bagel opportunity.]

State Pen. Pen Pal

Just when I was thinking I couldn't decide what to write about for my next post, opportunity presents itself!

This:came in the mail today.
Need a closer look??

Yeah, that's right. The return address says Oregon Department of Corrections - Inmate Mail.
What the???
Seriously?!

And I was not the one who checked the mail today... Sean did.
Sean (coming back in the house): "Uh... Do you have a pen pal at the Oregon prison?"
Me: "Uh... What?"

Or, you could picture it going down something like this...
"LUCY!! You've got some 'splainin' to do!!"

This, by far, surpasses other weird things received in the mail - including my sample hearing aide and when Christine received an offer to join AARP!

And let me just include a few excerpts from the letter...

"Jennifer,
Long time, no write :). That is, I'm hoping this is heading to the right girl. How many Jennifer Southworths could there be?.....

I've had cool feelings for you since Kristie's apt. on __th. Whether your with a man or not girl, I'd like to at least hear a "I got your letter" from you. Can you do that? Thank you baby girl......

Over these years, what have you been doing with yourself? I could no longer stand just imagining the goodness of what you could be, so I got your address from the phone book. I bet your more beautiful then the most precious of diamonds. [Maybe this guy does know me! He he he!!] You always were before........."

So, that letter is being returned. Without our forwarding address because I absolutely do NOT know this guy! Yikes!

Apparently, I look pretty good in my "old age"...

So this is what I got in the mail this week: Yup. It's a hearing aide to "try on for size". Umm... last I checked, my hearing was just fine. And this isn't the first "elderly" junk mail I have received. I finally had to call a certain retirement community that kept sending me brochures on a nearly monthly basis. Apparently there must be a quite-older Jennifer E. Southworth roaming around somewhere because that's who's mail I get! People, I am only 26. That's 2, 6. Not 126, 96 or even 76!! Can someone please remove me from this mailing list?! Thank you.